Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The Perks of Dating Younger
1. You Both Love Melissa Joan Hart.
Granted you love her for Clarissa Explains It All and he or she loves her for Sabrina the Teenaged Witch - you both love her and in the end, love for MJH is all that really matters.
2. You Can Teach Them Things.
Important life lessons such as the fact that Melrose Place and Knots Landing were basically the same formula (a bunch of people who all like each other in the beginning but slowly begin to hate each other for a variety of reasons over time but never move away from one another and neither show really got good until the blond bitch rolled into the neighborhood) but worked for different reasons. Of course, you have to explain what both Melrose Place and Knots Landing are because your younger lover does not know either and that's just shameful to you. Thank God you came into his life!
3. They Can Teach You Things.
Like what the fuck Snapchat is and why people continue to use it. Because I am old and still do not understand why people can't just pick up the mother fucking phone and call each other anymore, my younger boyfriend has explained in great length the beauty of Snapchat and it's many purposes. Like... oh fuck it, I still don't get it. Kids these days and their technology!
Younger men and women get aroused easily and want sex more often so sex is more prevalent in my household now. I mean, let's face it - I am known for going six months to a year without doing it so I am making up for lost time at this point and I ain't hearing any complaints from my current boyfriend.
5. They're Easier to Manipulate.
I like to pretend that my boyfriend is pregnant with my baby (because that COULD happen) and that he is currently in his second trimester. We're naming the baby Sam after Sam Rappaport from One Life to Live (because that WOULD happen) and he just goes along with it. Granted, he doesn't know what any of the words in the previous sentence mean, he knows our fake baby's name means a lot to me so he just goes along with my delusions because he knows I'm crazy and it makes me happy.
Older or younger, as long as you've found the right one, nothing else really matters in the end. Happy hunting!
Posted by Mark Brennan Rosenberg at 10:23 AM